I'm a Murderer...

Resaca, GA


Guilty. I did it your honor. As of today, I am guilty of turtlecide. I pulled into a rest area in northern Georgia this morning. As I took the split to head back to the truck parking, I saw a turtle crossing the road. He was only about three feet from making it, so I was able to miss him with all ten of my tractor tires. No such luck with the trailer tires. He was in a bend and the wheels didn't quite make it around him. Poor bastard. Oh, well. I'd like to think that some other critter at least got a meal out of it.

I can't believe I haven't hit a deer yet. They're EVERYWHERE!! I did have a bird fly into my windshield last week. That was quite a splat, I assure you. I didn't think I'd ever get it cleaned off.


I saw a strange billboard in Atlanta today. It had a crimson background and two words written in cream colored type. The two words were "I Pooted." Just those two words and nothing else. No corporate logo or anything. I don't get it. I thought perhaps it might be an ad for an anti-constipation medication.



Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet as You Go...

Tidbits from a Travelin' Man...

Waddy, KY


-I swear to God, that's the real name of this place just west of Frankfort. I'm not good enough to make that one up...


-Speaking of great names, did you know there's a player in the Baseball Hall of Fame named Heinie Manush. What a great fuckin name...


-I got free food today. In the far reaches of Eastern Kentucky, there is a little town called Kimber about 10 miles east of Pikeville. Just outside this town is a little community called Mountain Top. This is about as back of the beyond as you can find in this country. I have been here three times and every time, I halfway expect to see a hairless albino kid with three teeth sitting on a porch, strumming a banjo and telling me that I "shur gotta purty mouth". Anyway, in Mountain Top, there is a Kellogg's bakery where they make, among other things, pop-tarts and nutri-grain bars and the like. The place smells wonderful, in sharp contrast to many of the places I have to go. But the best part is, every time I go there, the lady in the shipping office gives me free, expired products. Today, it was two boxes of low-fat, apple cinnamon nutri-grain bars...sw8...


-Always keep an empty gatorade bottle and a couple rolls of toilet paper in the truck. You just never know...


-Keeping in that vein, ALWAYS check the availability of TP in the stall BEFORE you sit down...


-Always leave the truck with a set of keys. I learned this one the hard way about a year ago at a BJ's wholesale (think Sam's Club) in greater Boston. I locked myself out of my truck with the engine running while blocking off about a half-dozen employee vehicles during shift change. Yikes...one guy was so pissed and determined to get out, he attempted to back out and over the bank behind him. He damned near bottomed out a brand new Chevy Avalanche on the concrete berm at the top of the bank. He got out to see if there had been any damage. When he ascertained that all was clear, he got back into his truck, all the while giving me a dirty look, as if to say that it would have been my fault if he had banged up an axle or something. Ass...


-I found myself rememebering a Dr. Greenlee-ism a little while ago. He used to tell us every Friday at the end of choir to let the guy in a hurry pass us by on the road, that we'd catch him up at the next light. Since I started driving last April, I've driven roughly 160,000 miles in 41 states and four Canadian provinces. You know what? He was right...


-I'm still worried about the ABBA thing...


Quote of the Day

"I apologize if I get an erection, and I apologize if I dont."

--George C. Scott, said to an actress. [cracked me up...;-)]



Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet as You Go...

Come Forth and Suckle at the Electronic Teat...

Dallas, TX


So, I haven't posted in awhile. In fact, I haven't done too much of anything in awhile. I knew when I bought this "portal of information" back in January that it would be beneficial in my efforts to write more and keep better financial records and what not. In other words, I envisioned it as a tool. Something that would help me organize and better myself. That was before I knew of the vast proliferation of wireless internet. Or "herionet" as Miranda and I call it. It's like crack. I can't get anything done because I find myself spending all my free time fucking around on this infernal machine doing some of the most mind-boggling and pointless activities imaginable. I think an intervention might be in the offing. I used to exercise. I used to write. Now all I do is fritter. I can't tear myself away and before I realize it, I've stayed up way too late and then I can't get up the next morning and I'm tired all day while I'm trying to drive...AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!


Anyway, I'm guessing by this time that Mike and Erin have officially embarked upon their wedded bliss. I wish them nothing but the best. They seem very happy and just, I don't know, RIGHT. It makes me happy to my friends doing so well. The same goes for Steph and her impending nuptials, even though I have yet to meet her fiance. Maybe I'll get to it one of these days. He seems like a cool guy. Lots of people in my life seem to be doing so well, I just wish I was around more to enjoy it.


I haven't seen anything too terribly interesting on the road lately. I was in Laredo, TX yesterday, which is always an adventure. God love 'em, Mexican truck drivers are insane. I found out yesterday that many of them do not have AC in their trucks. Jesus!! No wonder they drive so fast. Gotta keep up the airflow into the windows.


I'm listening to Pavarotti sing Flower Song from Carmen. I love the guy, but God! Musically, it's marvelous, but his French is atrocious. Probably why he never performed French opera live onstage.


Speaking of music, every time I load up I-tunes, the first thing I HAVE to hear is ABBA's Take a Chance On Me. Does anyone else feel this is cause for concern???


Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet as You Go...