Tackiness Abounds...
Gary, IN
First of all, I would like to thank all my wonderful friends for the birthday wishes, both public and private. They were very much appreciated. It's nice to know folks is thinkin boutcha. The rest of you can lick me where I pee...;-) Haha!! just kidding...
Speaking of tacky, I saw a funeral procession on the interstate the other day, I can't remember precisely where. There was the hearse and limousine for the family all being led down the road by a pace car, if you will, carrying flowers and with a flashing light. It was a black Ford El Camino...O_o
One fine day when I shuffle off this mortal coil and go to sing with the choir invisible, I sincerely hope that no part of my demise and subsequent interment involves a Ford El Camino in any way. That has got to be the ugliest car ever devised by the mind of man. Unless I was to be buried in it...nah.
But that doesn't hold a candle to what greeted me yesterday. I must make a confession, I'm an inveterate voyeur. A people watcher. I love to sit in a mall for a few minutes and watch all the different people go by. People fascinate me that way. How they walk, talk and carry themselves and so on. So I always keep a close eye on the cars that pass me as I drive each day. It passes the time and ensures that I'm checking my mirrors and paying attention to what other cars are doing around me. And you never know what you might see! I've heard some fascinating stories. I haven't seen anything particularly evocative myself. Until yesterday, that is. Yesterday, curiosity killed the cat.
I glanced in the mirror to see a small red four door being driven by a man in his late sixties or early seventies with no shirt on. I thought it strange to see such an elderly gentleman in that particular state of undress. As he passed me, I glanced down. I wished I hadn't. He had on tighty whities pulled halfway down his ass and nothing else. God smiled and I couldn't see his junk and he had both hands on the steering wheel. And he was alone in the car, which was odd. Just a mostly nude old man driving down the interstate as big as you please. Ok, maybe that wasn't such a great metaphor. O_o But you get the idea.
It could be worse. My dad's cousin Joe, who is also a truck driver, has seen two dead bodies in the space of about the last six weeks. The first was just outside Atlanta. He saw a man laying on the side of the road. He called 911 to let them know, thinking it might have been a hitcher who passed out or something. He stopped at a truckstop a bit later to hear some other drivers talking about the dead body found on the side of the interstate and called in by a truck driver. And just last week, he was on I-75 in Rockcastle County, KY. He passed an accident scene where a woman had committed suicide by stopping on the shoulder of the highway and walking out in front of an oncoming truck. Perhaps it made the Lexington news, I'm not sure. Anyway, as Joe went past, the tarp covering what was left of her body blew away and he got quite the eyefull. Poor guy. His wife told my mom he hasn't slept well since. I shudder to think about it. I can't begin to fathom what the poor bastard she stepped in front of is going through. There's some pretty nasty stuff that happens every day and when you're out on the road, I guess you have a greater chance of running across some of it. You just keep on rolling and pray to God you get where you're headed safe and sound.
Anyway, I better turn in. I'm off to Saskatchewan tomorrow!! Seriously.
Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet as You Go...
First of all, I would like to thank all my wonderful friends for the birthday wishes, both public and private. They were very much appreciated. It's nice to know folks is thinkin boutcha. The rest of you can lick me where I pee...;-) Haha!! just kidding...
Speaking of tacky, I saw a funeral procession on the interstate the other day, I can't remember precisely where. There was the hearse and limousine for the family all being led down the road by a pace car, if you will, carrying flowers and with a flashing light. It was a black Ford El Camino...O_o
One fine day when I shuffle off this mortal coil and go to sing with the choir invisible, I sincerely hope that no part of my demise and subsequent interment involves a Ford El Camino in any way. That has got to be the ugliest car ever devised by the mind of man. Unless I was to be buried in it...nah.
But that doesn't hold a candle to what greeted me yesterday. I must make a confession, I'm an inveterate voyeur. A people watcher. I love to sit in a mall for a few minutes and watch all the different people go by. People fascinate me that way. How they walk, talk and carry themselves and so on. So I always keep a close eye on the cars that pass me as I drive each day. It passes the time and ensures that I'm checking my mirrors and paying attention to what other cars are doing around me. And you never know what you might see! I've heard some fascinating stories. I haven't seen anything particularly evocative myself. Until yesterday, that is. Yesterday, curiosity killed the cat.
I glanced in the mirror to see a small red four door being driven by a man in his late sixties or early seventies with no shirt on. I thought it strange to see such an elderly gentleman in that particular state of undress. As he passed me, I glanced down. I wished I hadn't. He had on tighty whities pulled halfway down his ass and nothing else. God smiled and I couldn't see his junk and he had both hands on the steering wheel. And he was alone in the car, which was odd. Just a mostly nude old man driving down the interstate as big as you please. Ok, maybe that wasn't such a great metaphor. O_o But you get the idea.
It could be worse. My dad's cousin Joe, who is also a truck driver, has seen two dead bodies in the space of about the last six weeks. The first was just outside Atlanta. He saw a man laying on the side of the road. He called 911 to let them know, thinking it might have been a hitcher who passed out or something. He stopped at a truckstop a bit later to hear some other drivers talking about the dead body found on the side of the interstate and called in by a truck driver. And just last week, he was on I-75 in Rockcastle County, KY. He passed an accident scene where a woman had committed suicide by stopping on the shoulder of the highway and walking out in front of an oncoming truck. Perhaps it made the Lexington news, I'm not sure. Anyway, as Joe went past, the tarp covering what was left of her body blew away and he got quite the eyefull. Poor guy. His wife told my mom he hasn't slept well since. I shudder to think about it. I can't begin to fathom what the poor bastard she stepped in front of is going through. There's some pretty nasty stuff that happens every day and when you're out on the road, I guess you have a greater chance of running across some of it. You just keep on rolling and pray to God you get where you're headed safe and sound.
Anyway, I better turn in. I'm off to Saskatchewan tomorrow!! Seriously.
Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet as You Go...
posted by twistedyoda | 5/21/2006 09:13:00 PM
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