Heartland Notes
Dallas, TX
I had one of those rare, special days where I actually get to see a bit of the countryside. My route to Dallas consisted of about 300 miles or so of US highways 69 and 75. I love being able to get off of the interstates and see something of the world I'm traveling through. Every interstate has the same crap lining it. The fast food joints, hotels, truck stops, yada, yada, yada. But when you get off of them, you can see some really interesting things. Like today, for example. As you travel south on US 69 in Oklahoma, you come into a town called Atoka. There's a bridge over a small creek on the north side of town and a sign designating said waterway as "Muddy Boggy Creek". Does this not just smack of bad, midwestern colloquial grammar. I'm thinking, maybe they should decide on a designation. Is it muddy? Or is it boggy? Make up your mind already! Perhaps it should be "Muddy Bog Creek", or "Boggy Mud Creek". Or, for the grammatically anal amongst us, "Muddy, Boggy Creek". And the kicker, the piece de resistance (interpolate snooty French accent here).
As I left town, I passed over another bridge over a similar sized body of water. I glance over at the sign to see the name. Yup, you guessed it. "Clear Boggy Creek". At least they know which way the water flows. On the whole, I was very much charmed and amused.
You just can't get that kind of ambience on the interstate, generally speaking. Unless you go to Arkansas or Louisiana. Just outside Little Rock, on I-40 is a sign that says "Toad Suck Park-Next Exit". I don't think I want to know.
On I-10 in Louisiana is an exit sign for "Baptist Pumpkin Center". Who are these Baptists and what are they doing with pumpkins. I been a Baptist all my life. My parents are Baptists. Both of my grandfathers were ordained Baptist preachers. I know of no rite or ritual involving pumpkins!
Did I tell you I found the Bat Cave? Yup, that was in Tennessee or North Carolina, I'm not sure which. An interstate exit sign that says "Bat Cave" with a number. I wonder if Bruce would mind if I dropped in for a spot of tea and a round of golf.
I think my favorite off-the-beaten path experience happened just last week. I had picked up part of a load in Miami, FL and had to get over to Tampa to pick up the rest before heading up to Louisville, KY. I could have taken I-75, but it's a toll road there and one of the few my company won't pay for, for whatever reason. So I decided to take US 41 out of Miami over to Naples and get on 75 there past the toll section. This highway is a narrow, two lane road that runs along the Everglades National Park. So, I'm driving along, the road is straight, it's a nice day out. To my right there is about 12 feet or so of right of way and then a canal about 10-15 feet wide, and on the opposite bank, sunning themselves for miles and miles, are hundreds, if not thousands, of alligators. Big ones. I saw several that were every bit as big around as I am. If anyone reading this doesn't know me, I'm about 6'3", 280. These were some pretty big critters with nothing between them and me but this canal. Hello! Alligators are amphibious! Duh!
Actually, I wasn't worked about it at all. I found it fascinating. I'm glad the road was straight so I could let my attention wander a bit. What really got me, were the people out by the road, fishing in the canal, or just taking pictures of the menagerie. I saw several signs that said "Panther Crossing". I never saw any panthers though and I found this most disappointing. I wanted to see if one of the old lady panthers had an orange vest and a cap and would walk out to hold up traffic so the kiddies could cross to panther junior high (home of the Fighting Mail Carriers). Or maybe if the state had sprung for radar devices to bring down a crossing arm whenever a panther pushed the "walk" button. Actually, it was neither one. I drove under an elevated walkway that said "Panther Crossing" across the front of it (I swear to God I'm not making that part up). Very fun.
The part that sucks about all this is that I'm chained to this 65-foot long rig. I mean, there's only certain places I can go. I would love to take a road trip some time in a regular vehicle so that I could have the time and the opportunity to investigate some of this stuff.
Anyway, If I see anything else, I'll let you know.
Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet As You Go.
I had one of those rare, special days where I actually get to see a bit of the countryside. My route to Dallas consisted of about 300 miles or so of US highways 69 and 75. I love being able to get off of the interstates and see something of the world I'm traveling through. Every interstate has the same crap lining it. The fast food joints, hotels, truck stops, yada, yada, yada. But when you get off of them, you can see some really interesting things. Like today, for example. As you travel south on US 69 in Oklahoma, you come into a town called Atoka. There's a bridge over a small creek on the north side of town and a sign designating said waterway as "Muddy Boggy Creek". Does this not just smack of bad, midwestern colloquial grammar. I'm thinking, maybe they should decide on a designation. Is it muddy? Or is it boggy? Make up your mind already! Perhaps it should be "Muddy Bog Creek", or "Boggy Mud Creek". Or, for the grammatically anal amongst us, "Muddy, Boggy Creek". And the kicker, the piece de resistance (interpolate snooty French accent here).
As I left town, I passed over another bridge over a similar sized body of water. I glance over at the sign to see the name. Yup, you guessed it. "Clear Boggy Creek". At least they know which way the water flows. On the whole, I was very much charmed and amused.
You just can't get that kind of ambience on the interstate, generally speaking. Unless you go to Arkansas or Louisiana. Just outside Little Rock, on I-40 is a sign that says "Toad Suck Park-Next Exit". I don't think I want to know.
On I-10 in Louisiana is an exit sign for "Baptist Pumpkin Center". Who are these Baptists and what are they doing with pumpkins. I been a Baptist all my life. My parents are Baptists. Both of my grandfathers were ordained Baptist preachers. I know of no rite or ritual involving pumpkins!
Did I tell you I found the Bat Cave? Yup, that was in Tennessee or North Carolina, I'm not sure which. An interstate exit sign that says "Bat Cave" with a number. I wonder if Bruce would mind if I dropped in for a spot of tea and a round of golf.
I think my favorite off-the-beaten path experience happened just last week. I had picked up part of a load in Miami, FL and had to get over to Tampa to pick up the rest before heading up to Louisville, KY. I could have taken I-75, but it's a toll road there and one of the few my company won't pay for, for whatever reason. So I decided to take US 41 out of Miami over to Naples and get on 75 there past the toll section. This highway is a narrow, two lane road that runs along the Everglades National Park. So, I'm driving along, the road is straight, it's a nice day out. To my right there is about 12 feet or so of right of way and then a canal about 10-15 feet wide, and on the opposite bank, sunning themselves for miles and miles, are hundreds, if not thousands, of alligators. Big ones. I saw several that were every bit as big around as I am. If anyone reading this doesn't know me, I'm about 6'3", 280. These were some pretty big critters with nothing between them and me but this canal. Hello! Alligators are amphibious! Duh!
Actually, I wasn't worked about it at all. I found it fascinating. I'm glad the road was straight so I could let my attention wander a bit. What really got me, were the people out by the road, fishing in the canal, or just taking pictures of the menagerie. I saw several signs that said "Panther Crossing". I never saw any panthers though and I found this most disappointing. I wanted to see if one of the old lady panthers had an orange vest and a cap and would walk out to hold up traffic so the kiddies could cross to panther junior high (home of the Fighting Mail Carriers). Or maybe if the state had sprung for radar devices to bring down a crossing arm whenever a panther pushed the "walk" button. Actually, it was neither one. I drove under an elevated walkway that said "Panther Crossing" across the front of it (I swear to God I'm not making that part up). Very fun.
The part that sucks about all this is that I'm chained to this 65-foot long rig. I mean, there's only certain places I can go. I would love to take a road trip some time in a regular vehicle so that I could have the time and the opportunity to investigate some of this stuff.
Anyway, If I see anything else, I'll let you know.
Any Questions? Any Comments? Be Quiet As You Go.
posted by twistedyoda | 2/07/2006 07:00:00 PM
4 Comments:
Hey, John! Always interesting to find an old familiar face (LITERALLY!) on a new blog! Hope you are finding time to do some cheering up! Geron and I have two blogs going right now, so you should check them out. You might just run across someone else you know!
hey! who you calling old? ;-)
Actually, it's good to hear from you. Can't wait to check out your blogs.
Hey Jon,
I hadn't really said anything to anyone other than Erin about your blog. Some people keep them to themselves. With your permission, I'll add you to my links section and tell a few other friends (some of whom you know) about it. Not guaranteeing a lot of traffic, but it might mean a coulpe more faces to keep you company out there.
If, on the other hand, you'd rather keep this under hats, let me know that too.
Oh, and check out my podcast while you're out there. You have an iPod or a laptop? (or some way to listen to mp3 files on the road?) Go to www.skypiecesradio.com.
By all means, spread the word. The more the merrier. And I'll check out your podcast ASAP.
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