Austinsburg, OH

Hello. My name is John. I had been keeping a paper journal and now that I have this lovely laptop and semi-regular wireless net access, I thought I'd switch over to this medium. I'll see how it goes. I guess this is just a place for me to dispense with the copius amounts of drivel clunking around the confines of my cranium. I have been employed as a truck driver for the last year or so and I find myself with lots of time during the day to do nothing but think and keep my rig from plowing through a guardrail. It really is a soul-raping existence. Thank God for satellite radio and wireless internet or I would lose my mind. I mean, I've been to some neat places and gotten to see a lot of the country and all, but let's face it. If you've seen one stretch of 12-foot wide blacktop, you've pretty much seen them all.

Let's see. Who am I? That's a fair question. If you ever get an answer, would you mind filling me in? ;-)

Anyway, I'm 27 and recently divorced. I guess it was recent. Is a year recent enough to be considered recent? It was an amicable enough separation. We both wanted it and didn't really blind side each other. Still and all, it was harder to get over it than I might have thought. I still miss her from time to time, but i also remember how, i don't know, uncomfortable we became around each other. I think Annie summed it up best when she told one of her friends that "we love each other, we just can't live together".

*le sigh*

On a happier note...


Well...


ok, so there aren't any happy notes. I'm kinda stuck in neutral right now. I came out of the divorce saddled with a lot of debt that I'm working to pay off so that I can resume a life more normal. I'm getting there, but i have always been a generally impatient person, making it easy for me to become discouraged. I'm finding lately that if I just focus on having one good day at a time, i feel better about myself and have more of a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I've spent most of my life, particularly the last few years consumed by thoughts and dreams of the future. Consequently, I've wasted a great deal of time.

I also find myself terribly lonely. I miss people. I'm out here by myself all the time and even when I'm home, I can't really go anywhere. (My truck is dead, hence my career choice.) It's difficult to keep paying off debt and not get my truck fixed, but one thing at a time I suppose. Perhaps this will help me to reconnect with old friends and find some new ones out there. I hope so anyway.

I think this is all I'll go with for now. I'm sure I have a lot more to say, but they'll keep for another day. I don't want to go overboard my first time out. Maybe the second time.


Any comments? Any Questions? Be quiet as you go.